Pornography: the printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity…intended to cause sexual excitement.
Books / CDs
He Restoreth My Soul by Donald Hilton
Love You, Hate the Porn by Mark Chamberlain and Geoff Steurer
What Can I Do About Me? – Rhyll Croshaw
My Story by Elizabeth Smart
Addiction and Intimacy by Kevin Skinner (PDF article)
Utah Coalition Against Pornography Resource/Reading List 2013:
Dealing With Your Partner’s Sexual Addiction by Kevin Skinner, Shondell Knowlton, & Jill Manning (6 Audio segments) ***My personally favorite resource!***
Strengthening Recovery Through Strengthening Marriage (6 Audio CDs) by Geoff Steurer and Kevin Skinner
There will come a time when you have focused so much on learning about the addiction itself, that you will be ready to use that same energy to read other uplifting materials. When that time comes for you, here are some suggestions:
Let It Go by Chris Williams
What Would a Holy Woman Do? by Wendy Watson Nelson
Talks / Quotes
“Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!
He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom. The Psalmist wrote: ‘When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? …For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.’
God loves you because you are His child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely or make mistakes.
The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.
My dear Relief Society sisters, you are closer to heaven than you suppose. You are destined for more than you can possibly imagine. Continue to increase in faith and personal righteousness. Accept the restored gospel of Jesus Christ as your way of life. Cherish the gift of activity in this great and true Church. Treasure the gift of service in the blessed organization of Relief Society. Continue to strengthen homes and families. Continue to seek out and help others who need your and the Lord’s help.
Sisters, there is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not flower. I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your lives joyful and sweet. Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. Please never forget that the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire and uplift you. And never forget that your Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you.” -Elder Dieter Uchtdorf “Forget Me Not”
- Don’t live on a diet of doubt, but a feast of faith.
- The only guarantee in this life is Jesus.
- If we remain the victim, we become the villain.
- “The Lord is willing to carry our burdens, but not our baggage.” Sheri Dew
- I’m not what I have done, I’m what I have overcome.
- The Lord will be with us in sickness/pain—even the sickness/pain of our emotions.
- Whatever I don’t own up to, owns me.
- Faith to move mountains…mountains of grief, pain, loss, etc.
- If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.
- Life is a journey, not a destination.
- “The function of wounds is to tenderize our souls, again to conform us to the image of Christ. A major function of this earth life is to teach us what to do about wounds.” M. Catherine Thomas
- We are “learning heaven”.
- “Spiritual heart surgery, like in the body, may cause you pain and require a change in habits and conduct. But in both cases, recovery brings renewed life and peace of mind.” Boyd K. Packer 1
- “I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh 2
- Boiling water hardens eggs and softens carrots.
- My life is but a weaving between my God and me, I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily. Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride, forget He sees the upper, and I the underside. Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly, will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver’s hand as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
Healing from Betrayal Trauma (6 Youtube classes) by Kevin Skinner. The first class doesn’t have very good audio, but the rest are a lot better.
Healing Relationships Damaged by Pornography by Geoff Steurer.
Real stories of trauma and healing (4 individuals’ videos).
Helpful websites with great information:
Many women feel very low self-esteem when they discover their loved one’s addiction. They feel like they have not been enough; that they are not beautiful; that they can never live up to those “expectations”. Many see “modesty” in a very new and different way than ever before. I know I did. On my search of trying to figure out exactly why I felt the way I felt, I found these modesty articles and appreciated several of the perspectives:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDUlDXBgLH0 (Evolution of Bikini)
- https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/the-touch-of-the-masters-hand?lang=eng ↩
- “Lindbergh Nightmare,” Time, 5 Feb. 1973, 35 ↩